Special Guest Column - Lizzie Laschon

Who Are We Really?

I swear, sometimes I feel like I’m trapped in the skin of someone, or better yet—something else. My outer shell is that of a girly woman-to-be, who is supposed to dress in skirts and cute ribbon blouses and smell of rosy, sweet perfume. That kinda reminds me of a time when me and a friend found a bunch of earth worms and started messing around with them and when I got home all covered in dirt and gooey stuff my mom didn’t know what to do with me. I sure didn’t smell all that peachy back then. But I’m digressing; point is: have you ever felt like you’re someone else deep inside? Like you’re just wearing this stupid normality cape that you stretch onto your body until it threatens to rip? A cape that helps hide your hidden identity and mask it with an appearance of normality.

Mine (secret identity that is) comes in many shapes and sizes but is basically the same: I’m a dork. When I was 13 it was that of a Sith lord, on a mission to subjugate and crush the weak willed (I’d be lying if I said it still wasn’t). Nowadays however I just hide it. I mean…c’mon, how many girls obsess about star wars and have allergic reactions every time they’re exposed to excess affection? Like vampires to garlic; or for that matter to excess girliness? I’m a hazard to my own species. I would, if given the chance, prefer to spend the whole day talking dork instead of spending one hour in a room filled with girls talking girly stuff. And I’d give my soul to cosplay even the dorkiest outfits known even to dorks. I’d even take an idiotic dare like eating worms over a full day of shopping.

So my advice is the following: whether you’re a fat guy who thinks he has ninja powers or you like to think you’re Superman, hang on to your super-identity because after all, that is what really defines who you are, now how polite you can be to someone in a subway or how high your grades in school have been but how super cool your hidden personality is. Because you’re as awesome as you think you are and that can only be seen if all those layers are taken away. Like the process of peeling an onion that results in making little kids cryJ.

So I conclude by saying: dorks all around the world, unite! (Live long and prosper ^^)